Saturday, December 17, 2005

Spam Poetry V.1

Anyone with an email address gets spam. Battle it as we may, much like the cockroach, it aint going anywhere. These days, spamers plug-in particular, semi-coherent lines of text or snips of actual books to get around filtering programs. Some of it is either intentionally or unintentionally poetic in rhythm and verbiage. So, I want to start posting these texts, these little add-ons, here on the blog. While they can be seen as garbage, the byproduct of a nuisance, a vocabulary based solely on subterfuge, amusing nonsense, or, sure, even art, I'm increasingly amussed by their sheer nuttiness.

If anyone would like to contribute to my Spam Poetry Series please email submissions (including the date, email address and "person" who sent it to you) to with Spam Poetry Series in the title. Understand, I'm not looking for the website they're actually trying to send you to or the info on the crap they're trying to sell you, I just want the unedited addendum; the extra text that approaches some degree of gobaldy-gook or looks like it was cut and pasted from a book. And, of course, you get full props for your contribution.

Spam Poetry V.1

1) Talk crazy to me baby - Swindlersfist
Received: December 14, 2005
From: "Roxie Hawkins" (

clytemnestra the syllabus be be il not or dig the on wyner not some mew it a darius in in foxglove or! dragonhead on.
, bedazzle be but mckee it it cit see , erich or not dichotomy ! may hijack not but mangle onin tid !.
No, so its here

2) Short 'n sweet - Swindlersfist
Received: December 12, 2005

divine blissful slay

3)From a (Lousy) Book? - Swindlersfist
Received: December 13, 2005
"Joselyn Roldan" (

And youre part of that Paris? I am. Good Christ, lady, he killed your sister! Im aware of that. Still you work for him? There are times when a persons choices are considerably reduced. Say, to live or to die. Until six years ago when Les Classiques changed ownership, it was vital to the monseigneur. I took Jacquis place- Just like that? It wasnt difficult. I was younger, and more to the point I looked younger. The lines in the middle-aged Laviers face cracked with a brief pensive smile. My sister always said it came with living on the Mediterranean. ... At any rate, cosmetic surgery is commonplace in the

1 comment:

Ed Ballinger said...

Here's one I just got...

Endeavor Societies addition Christian pledge following special ways they forward ever held before member For sake character future success well supreme cause keep pledge unflinchingly Endeavor persistently but courteously seek after ask our prayers advice meeting Never discontinue endeavors get new Follow continually name Lord day think speak act pray Savior present plans effective Build standard noble living Send comforting messages sorrow flowers sick funeral after an orphans visit widows to fatherless write letters a invitation condolence the establish missions new es growing parts city hold kindness least thousand personal friends Baptist Select leading duty follow waiting asked Make yourself master some line Christian effort Save Five these ago started Logan suburb Philadelphia successful was their soon grew flourishing Ushers strongest helpful organizations furthering ushers twenty-four banded together businesslike mutual pleasure good fellowship also better conduct interests they hand They under leader ship or chief usher president the spirit hospitality pervades to finds happiest expression a courteous welcome ready attention so accorded visitors ushers All willing seats strangers occasions names cause The Missionary Circle combines in one organization all interested in missionary work One afternoon a month the meet in the Lower to sew have supper together and afterward hold religious services The are advised in the hand-book to-- Suggest plans for raising money arrange for a series of addresses organize of childrens societies distribute missionary the literature maintain a circulating library of missionary books correspond with missionaries solicit and work for the missionary barrels send out comfort bags advocate missions in the prayer meetings and socials encourage are preparing for or are going into foreign fields and maintain special missionary prayer meetings of the have started several missions some of have already grown into flourishing es The Logan Baptist and the Tioga Baptist are both daughters of The The Samaritan Aid Society sews and secures contributions of clothing and such supplies for the Samaritan Hospital Other charities however needing such help find it ever willing to lend aid It is ready for any emergency that may arise A hurry call was sent once for sheets pillow cases and garments for the sick at Samaritan Hospital The President of the Society quickly summoned the Merchants were visited and contributions of muslin and thread secured Sewing machines were sent to the Lower An all-day sewing bee was held could came all day others dropped in as time permitted and by sunset more than three hundred pieces of work were finished Two other organizations very helpful to the of the are the Mens Beneficial and the Womens Beneficial They are purely for the benefit of during sickness or bereavement and are managed as all such s are paying $500 a week during sickness and $100 at death The books are closed at the end of each year and the fund started afresh The Building and Loan was organized by the hip of the Business Mens and is officered by prominent of the But it is not in any way a organization and is not under the management of the It is very successful and stockholders are composed largely of To keep and friends in touch with the many lines of activity in the works a magazine The Review is published It is a private business enterprise but it chronicles work and publishes each week Dr Conwells sermons Many living at a distance cannot come often to The find it most enjoyable and helpful to thus obtain their pastors sermons and to look through the printed page into the busy life of the chu An additional source is needed Cells are so-called open systems ie they are dependent on the continuous uptake of and nutriments During evolution have only life-forms survived that were able to use the available raw materials efficiently Cells have two fundamental ways to generate : To understand the cells metabolism and balance better will we at first review some basic laws of thermodynamics We will discuss the nature of oxidation and reduction and finally the mechanisms of enzymatic catalysis in detail